Venting

A fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11

This verse was posted on the screen at the end of church. The teaching was about anger. I know that I am a person who gets ideas "aloud," meaning that my best ideas typically don't come when I am sitting alone and pondering how to solve a problem, but almost always come when I am talking to someone and processing through a situation. Knowing this about myself, this verse really hit me because so many times in my life I have justified gossiping as "venting" because I know that I am a verbal processor. It really struck me that I am wrong and that God is working in me to make a change. It hurts, but I am joyed (I really mean that-it makes me happy!) to have a God who knows me uniquely and He wants me to be more loving toward Him and others tomorrow, than I am today. That puts me in awe of Him because I know He cares so much about me, individually.

As I was thinking about the venting thing, it also occurred to me on another level how damaging gossiping can be when it comes to confrontation. I do not consider myself skilled in confrontation and I think I am starting to figure out why and I share my thoughts because I think it can be true of others, too. I typically find myself scared of confrontation because I am so nervous, anxious and worried about how the other person will respond to it. Could it be that the reason I have anxiety over it is because I have been "venting" to another person and I have been very candid with them in how I feel about a particular person or situation? I don't choose my words carefully in a venting setting, I just let go and say things openly and without regard. However, if I really were to confront a person who I cared for and loved, I would never speak to them in the way I just "vented" through the situation. When a confrontation takes place, albeit rarely, I am careful and thoughtful because, although I may be angry or hurt, I still regard that person as important in my life. But, because I have been so candid in my venting, I am worried that they will respond to me in a candid way...why? Because that is how I "practiced" in my venting. That is how I trained my brain to think in regards to how the conversation would go. That is a disservice to my brain because the other person cares about me, too, and they wouldn't approach me that way. So, ultimately, I don't confront another person because I am anxious over it. Then anger, frustration and confusion build, which breaks down my relationship with that person and ultimately, my relationship with God. I know that is not what God desires because remember what I bolded in the first paragraph? He wants me to be more loving toward Him and others tomorrow, than I am today.